Saying Goodbye

 Authors Note: This is not a true story! Also it's very long so don't fall asleep while reading it!


I remember when I was 7; sitting in the hospital waiting room, tears storming down my cheeks, head in hands praying , that everything will turn normal again. I was regretting anything I said to mom that might have hurt her, by talking back to her. I wish all those moments that I was annoyed by her, that I wish she would go away, I could take those moments back and enjoy the time with her.

It was a Monday morning, my mom was heading to work, and on her way she dropped me off at my school. That morning I was annoyed by her, everything she said to me I would talk back, to make matters worse when she gave me a hug I rejected it. I headed into school as I would do on any other day, and say hi to my friends and play on the playground.  We went inside and headed to my classroom and started doing our crafts. The phone started to ring and my teacher answered it; she asked me if I could come and get the phone. I answered it assuming it was my mom apologizing for her act. It wasn't my mom though it was my dad. He explained to me how my mother was in a car crash between herself and a SUV. At that moment it felt that the world stopped turning, I couldn't hear anything around me. I remember falling on my hands and knees crying, my body shaking, head in my hands screaming. My teacher answered the phone and told me to walk down to the nurse, that my dad’s going to pick me up. The longest 20 minutes passed until my dad arrived. I got in the car, looked at my dad, and said "How is she?". He responded "Not good". Those were the last words I heard up until we arrived at the hospital.  We walked up to the front desk, and got my mom’s room key.  As I took my steps I wanted to run and jump in her arms, believing that she's all better, that she won't die, that she'll be with me forever. As we walked in, the moment I saw her I started crying. Seeing her like that made me shiver, I couldn't even believe it was really my mom. She looked horrible; Bandages all over her body, cuts all over her face,  it was like a horror movie being taped right in front of me, with the main character being my mom. The doctors came rushing in taking her blood pressure, giving her shots, a million things were happening right before my eyes. All I wanted to do was to be snuggled up to my mother on the couch, watching The Suite Life of Zach and Cody my favorite show. The doctors told my dad that they’re taking her into surgery, so maybe we should leave. We were in the waiting room, hours and hours passed, families cheering hearing the good news that their loved ones will be ok. Where's my good news, I thought to myself.  Finally one of the surgeons came out and told my dad the news. I kept praying over and over that it's good news, that she'll come home with me, that I can apologize for the way I acted this morning. When my dad walked over every step he took, every breath he took, every tear that fell down his cheek were good things. I was wrong. My Mother Jane Estelle (1967-2009) died from lack of blood to the brain, and heart failure. The doctors let me come and say good bye to her last one time before they pulled the plug. I wanted this to be a dream that someone will wake me up from this nightmare ,that my mom would come in my room and tell me everything will be fine.  I wish. When I went in to see her, it was just me and my mom on a table. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing I had to do, to let her leave my soul, to only say that I have 1 parent now. I told her how much I love her, and that she'll always be my mother forever. I promised her that everything I do, I'll do my best, since she didn't get the chance, that she could never be replaced In my heart. The funeral was horrible; they say funerals are a celebration of death to honor that one’s life, their wrong.  Seeing the hearse come having the picture of my mom on it, knowing that this is the last time I'll see her beautiful eyes, her glossy hair, and her sweet face that always made me feel that I'm the only person she loved. As they lowered her into the ground, I was tempted to scream "What are you doing, stop that's my mother!”  We said a prayer and then threw a flower on top of her, and then went our separate ways. People don't realize how much love ones mean to them, that god put them there for a reason…To cherish you, that's how I felt for my mother. Remember earlier how I was talking about how I was mad at her? I Regret everything I said to her. Since that day whenever I said good bye to someone, I would leave them on a good note that if they died right then, that I could imagine them happy.