Dear Syracuse Newspaper

Authors Note : In the book Speak, Melinda has a hard time speaking up and finding her voice. This essay shows what led up to Melinda finding her voice. Also the format will be in a letter because this will be a letter to the school newspaper from anonymous (Melinda). 
Dear Newspaper,
People just don't get what it feels like to hide behind light, to feel like you don't feel welcome there. Throughout my lifetime I was a happy child, full of life, gleeful, always smiling but, one summer night changed my life, and my voice. Because of that one summer night my life right now is crushed and I don't know how to get it back. But today I just realized something, why do I want to live my life in the shadows? Is that what God wanted me to be? Is that what he sent me on earth to do? The answer  I came up with was no.  That is why I am finding my voice and speaking up.
To start off with, every day I was alone, every night I was alone, I  started to feel like it was the world against me and I know it was not a good feeling. I tried acting strong, I tried being the bigger person but  I needed someone to fall back on to love me, to give me hope that I will no longer be an outcast. But I soon came to the realization that maybe that person was myself, so I became strong and let out my secret.
Next,  I suffered through massive bullying moments. It's humiliating when you get embarrassed in public . Like when a girl pushed my tray up and hit me in the chest and then all that slimy mashed potatoes  slithered down my body I wanted to die. Or that other time when that guy threw his HO HO wrapper at me.  These moments led me to the realization, if I hid behind the curtain I would never set myself free, I would never feel safe in my own skin. Bulllying hurts and I felt like everyone hated me; and I also realized that why bully, why take your anger on someone else?
Lastly, My grades went down. TO get into a good college you really need to have good grades and with the grades I got there was absolutely no chance. Nothing lately mattered to me, like good grades, what I ate, what I did, who my friends were, or how I treated my parents.  Not  caring about anything it hurt, I wanted to snuggle up in a ball and hide from the world making sure no one heard me. By this time I wanted to set my self free and focused on what really mattered getting my self healthy. I was in depression, and being in depression I always felt unhappy and sad.
All these moments that I shared with you were personal and true. It hurts thinking everyond in the world hates you including the ones you once loved.It kills your spirit, your dignity, your passion for everything  you once loved. Take these pointers that I shared with you today. Because through out these things that happened to me I found y voice and instead of avoiding it I spoke up ,and to this day I don’t regret one minute of it. Learn from my story because you don't know when you could be the next victim.